Today is a sad day as it marks the 1st anniversary of my Dad passing away. If anything, the grief I feel now is probably worse than the period after he died. The initial sadness was bad enough, but afterwards I felt almost relieved and liberated. My Dad was a very dominant character and as an only child I'd always felt the pressure to attain his approval; after he'd gone that pressure eased and I briefly felt a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Today that feeling has passed and I now miss not being able to ask for his advice and ironically to run things by him to see if he approves; to coin a military term, my 'top cover' has gone. I guess this feeling will pass with time but rather than getting easier, today I find looking at his photos harder than ever, the sense of sadness brings a tear to my eye more so than ever before.
I miss my Dad and I wonder if life will ever feel right without him......
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